Abernethy, Aberargie and Dron News

Last date for submissions

31st October 2022

Date of publication

1st December 2022


The average Englishman in the house he calls his castle slips into his national costume —— a shabby raincoat patented by — Chemist, Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.

En route to his office he strides along an English lane surfaced by John Macadam from Ayr, Scotland.

He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dun|op,veterinary surgeon from Dreghom, Scotland.

In the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by lohn Chalmers, bookseller and printer from Dundee, Scotland.

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, blacksmith, from Thornhill, Dumfriesshire, Scotland.

He watches the news on TV, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the US Navy founded by John Paul Jones from Kirkbean, Scotland.

Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and, in desperation, picks up the bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot — King James V1 — who authorized its translation.

He could take to drink but the Scots make the best in the world.

He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.
If he escaped death he could find himself on an operating table  injected with penicillin discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of  Darvel, Scotland and given chloroform, an anaesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, obstetrician and gynaecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.

Out of the anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask—

Wha's like us?