I’d like to tell a story, every word of it is true!
It happens ever year to me; I’ll tell it now to you
We get lots of visitors from far across the sea
And they tell us of the wondrous sights in their country we should see.
We hear about Australia’s sheep and Canada’s waving grain
Of Paris in the springtime and sunny shores of Spain
We listen in amazement about America’s golden land
Then I’m brought back to reality-wi’ a touch of Jenny’s hand.
“Just tak’ em for a walk” says she “You ken the road I mean.
Gang up the toon and let them see some sichts they’ve never seen.
The Bakers shop where you buy the best cakes in the land
And buy them each a ‘snaw-ball’- every one is made by hand”
“Tell them about the auld Round Tower – and when the bairn’s bell was rung
And tell them all about the kirk where many a hymn’s been sung
How all around the yerd, oor ain folk lie – they never travelled far
Yet left behind a history that’s renowned sae near and far.”
I’ll tak’ them in to Patersons – now that is sure a treat!
A welcome smile you aye get there – and cronies sure to meet
There’s a’ thing there you care to buy – frae wool tae frying ham
There’s sausage rolls and toilet rolls and the best o’ strawberry jam
I cannae pass the Butchers shop – Mrs. Alcorn’s there you see
And along with Mrs. Christie they’re sae nice to you and me
And as our friends stand open-mouthed – at the prime scotch beef that’s there,
I’ll buy them each a haggis! – noo there’s a treat beyond compare!
I’ll tak’ them round that corner where the smithy used to be
And tell them of those happy times spent ‘neath the chestnut tree.
I’ll call in at the corner shop – meet Sandy and Betty Lamb,
Get a jar o’ coffee, some treacle toffee – Beechams Pills – and a tin o’ Spam.
I’ll let them see the garden where the bowling green used to be,
The den – the burn we guddled in – and climbed the crab apple tree
Then up to the Glen, past Ann Todd’s den and through the wicket gate
Where up amongst the bracken – in a cave – the witches wait!
Ben Vorlich and Ben Ledi, in the distance catch the eye
And the snow-capped Grampian Mountains seem to sparkle in the sky.
We’ll reach the top and turn round – in wonder look below
At the splendour and the beauty – mother nature can bestow.
The Ochils and the Sidlaws nestling in between
Our ancient Pitctish kingdom, the likes they’ve never seen!!
I know our friends will oft recall fond memories of their stay
And smile when they remember what I said to them that day
In my proud, broad Scottish accent, “Ach, you’ve never lived at a’
‘Till you’ve been tae Abernethy and you’ve climbed the Castle Law.”
J S Roy